Beware the sting of a killa b33... might be fatal to your ego 🐝
Name: L@rrÿ P3@rs0ñ, Jr. (🙄)
Birthdate: Deceased 💀
Location: Formerly of the (D)MV Area
Why they feelin' The Sting today:
L@rrÿ "D0üçh3b@g" P3@rs0ñ, Jr. was a former co-worker of ya girl's, mostly known for being a sassy, rude, lazy, overgrown "🚬" who absolutely *HATED* working under women in authority.
Actually, it hated working *periodt;* L@rrÿ was very much lethargic AF & would loudly (& totally unprompted 😒) proclaim that it only really showed up to work to (just barely) afford its near-daily $30+ lunches 💸🤡👎
It had a habit of getting office-type jobs that it could only reasonably "work" at in weeks- to months-long spurts, before being unceremoniously fired (#lol) 🔥
I guess that's how long it took for management to fully realize how much of a serious a$$ problem they had in a so-called "employee" like ol' L@rrÿ-L@ir 👀⚠️❌
L@rrÿ couldn't dress for 💩, y'all, to the point that our boss at the time had it permanently sit in a crowded backroom office, *NEVER* interacting with the public--unless it was via phone or computer *exclusively,* which it still failed at because it had zero customer service skills 🤦🏾♀️
I'd definitely consider L@rrÿ 'special needs' in a variety of ways, but it still went around claiming to have received a whole English degree (!!!) from some unfortunate state school outside of DC (#How??? #Why???) 🧐
L@rrÿ didn't carry itself like a college graduate *at all* though, once revealing to the entire office (all of 3 - 4 people, but *STILL* 😫) that it participated in a parade as a kid, with rain clouds overhead threatening to unleash their contents all over that day's festivities.
Young L@rrÿ had to use the restroom real bad, but being in a parade, obviously had no place nearby to make it "do what it do(o)" 💩
Its dad was in the crowd, & basically told Young L@rrÿ to just "go in his pants," since it was about to rain hardcore anyways 🤭
...And L@rrÿ actually *DID* it y'all, & lived to tell his grossed-out & highly disturbed work colleagues *ALL* about it several decades later, as calmly & matter-of-factly as if it were reading a grocery list or sum sh!t 🤢🥴😵💫
Between incidents like this, plus L@rrÿ setting things up such that it got its geriatric-looking d3m0ñic troll of a BFF M@ñ!qüe J0hñs0ñ a job working *right alongside it* in what was basically one of the seven circles of H3ll, ol' L@rrÿ-L@ir had a bish *TOTALLY* effed up 😤
I would address L@rrÿ directly here, but I already know what I have to say to it will fall on rude, sassy, morbidly obese, deaf "💀" AF ears.
But f*çk it:
[Spirit of] L@rry P3@rs0ñ, you need to either grow TF up
or just 🔚 yourself, dawg, cuz it's a wrap for you 🤷🏾♀️
And--as always, my babies--that ain't no thr3@t, either 🙅🏾♀️
It's a *WHOLE* promise--if you want it with me, !i$@ bee™ 😇🙏🏾🐝
That said:
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#HBDwh0re 🥳
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P.S. Your man br3@$ts completely disgusted me... *ESPECIALLY* when your overgrown a$$ walked into a cold room ::shudders:: 🤮