#HBD: E. H0!!@ñd

Name: Er!ç O(-rg@$m 🤭). H0!!@ñd

Birthdate: 12/1/1966

Location: Somewhere in the DMV Area... and/or in the vicinity of a Bad Bish near you 😉

Why they feelin' The Sting today:

If everyone around you suddenly starts questioning their paternity, you might just be in the presence of a p!mp—specifically, a p!mp named Er!c/"E."/E-Money/etc., otherwise known as Biological Dad #10 🩸🧬

Er!ç is a hustler most known for p!mp!n', though he’s *definitely* not above taking jobs like being a hospital orderly, school janitor, sandwich-maker (or "Professional M3@t Slinger" in Er!c's words 🙄), handyman (or as Er!ç says, "W00d Worker" 🤦🏾‍♀️ #smh) or whatever else to pay the bills.

Once again: 

Er!ç got a literal sh!t ton of kids to support thanks to his mom Aunt C0ññ!e & Deranged Male Ancestor exploiting E.’s DNA starting around the age of eight. 

As we in the family see it, Er!ç’s genes are “neutral” in that all his kids look like their birth moms 😳

Surprisingly, E. blends in well with the general population (or “normies” as me & my Irish twins call y’all 😆) for all the next-level drama he finds himself in. 

Dad is light-skinneded, has green eyes, & is typically decked out in gear that’d have Er!ç looking right at home at somebody’s barbecue or family shindig.

Er!ç *STAYS* cookout-ready; he definitely don’t play about his genetics *OR* his food, ok???

Anyways. As previously stated, E. got *A LOT* of kids, y’all 👀 

Chances are if you’re related to me or my family, were born within a certain timeframe, and yo' mama was or currently still is a beautiful Bad B!tch… 

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...That my dad Er!ç is yo' daddy, too 🥴  

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When I tell y’all about all the epic court battles Dad’s fought over the years—in addition to processing the *immense* genetic violation Aunt C0ññ!e & Deranged Male Ancestor subjected him to—y’all GOTSTA believe me 🧬⚖️  

As much as he can, though, Er!ç does provide for those kids of his he füx with most heavily—unfortunate pun *not* intended 👍

Don’t let your current or former Bad B!tch of a mama get on E.’s *LAST* nerve, though, y’all… 

Then it’s a wrap for you *AND* yo’ irritating a$$ matriarch 😤  

Er!ç been cool with me though, despite my having a *very* problematic surrogate. 

In fact, when I was racking up various academic awards as a youngster with seemingly zero parental support or encouragement, Er!ç would often show up with his sons/my three (possibly four?) cousin-brother-uncle-dads (😬) in tow, just to show love 💕 

Er!ç will even force appearances at normally tense family functions that neither him NOR his child(ren) *really* wanna be at, under the guise of “getting a to-go plate” & with the ultimate aim of “keeping the fam together” 🥲✊🏾  

E. probably knows better than any of my other family members that all we really have, at the end of the day, is each other. 

Yes, his main hustle is #QuestionableAF for a dad of who-knows-how-many girl & h0e a$$ boy children… 

But an irrefutable fact about Dad is that he’s gonna step TF 🆙 for his kids 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 

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...Only the most “down” kids, though. 

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...Plus their equally-as-chill moms 🤞 

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...And *EXCLUSIVELY* after those M@üry test results come through for a playa. 

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But hey, that’s E. for ya 😎💜 

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Dad,

#HBDwh0re 🥳