#HBD: A. R0s3ñth@l

Name: A@r0ñ E!i R0s3ñth@l, Esq.

Birthdate: 9/5/1985

Location: The DMV Area

Why they feelin' The Sting today:

How could I forget to flame up my illustrious 'brother from another mother' (literally) A@r0ñ R0s3ñth@l?!

Well, to my credit, I smoove thought A@r0ñ's b-day was in October. 

How fitting, though, that his birthday (almost) fell on Labor Day this year; one of my earliest memories of this fool is A@r0ñ saying in preschool how, as soon as he was born, A@r0ñ took one look over his shoulder & was like 

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"No thanks," 

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& from that point forward, was an openly proud flaming h0m0s3xü@! 🔥🌈

I mean, even St3v!e W0nd3r from space can tell this YT-presenting ñ!99@ A@r0ñ R0s3ñth@l got a lil a whole *LOT* of sugar in his tank 🚀😅

...And, thanks to our shared dad, A@r0ñ was also raised as a proud Black man, despite how much he looks like a complete YT person to any outside observers ✊🏾

Needless to say, the ~essence of A@r0ñ~ can be *a lot* for most folks to absorb. 

I, personally, love his cr@zy antics, witty comebacks, & sardonic sayings 🤭

But truthfully, sometimes A@r0ñ be forgetting that while his spirit is that of a flamboyant h0m0s3xü@! man, he is still *VERY* much in the body of an incredibly buff YT-presenting Black dude.

This is to say, my baby A@r0ñ R0s3ñth@l don't give a mother-🖕about laying hands on a female--which I find funny AF, but is still *extremely* problematic, nonetheless 😬

The first female I'm aware of that got A@r0ñ 'caught up' was his ain't 💩 birth mom, who was fully-prepared to raise A@r0ñ knowing absolutely *NOTHING* about his Black side; she hadn't even planned to tell A@r0ñ he was half-Black at all  🥀

Things really came to a head (lol) for both me *AND* A@r0ñ R0s3ñth@l the night I correctly labelled my step-dad as what he *truly* was 🚭😒👎

Basically, I needed peer-level companionship to keep me company in child lockup that night. 

A@r0ñ R0s3ñth@l, being the Down A$$ Super H0m0 that he is, arranged to slap *his very own YT-a$$ mama* (!!!), y'all, just so I wouldn't have to be in lockup alone 🥺💜

Anyways. Our family situation being the way it is, A@r0ñ's not only my & the @ñt!chr!st's sibling, but also this one's cousin.

Again: 

Things being the way they are in my fam, I--!i$@ bee™--took the opportunity to hype these ñ!99@s of various skin tones & phenotypes all the way 🆙 to participate in my own personal version of what both A@r0ñ *and* I call 

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"The RN H0e-lympics."

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That's right, folks: I make 'em compete for my love. 

And once 'whoever' makes it to the top, I *might* consider entertaining they 🐶🍑... 

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...MAYBE.

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Anyways. I'll wrap up this post with one of my favorite memories of A@r0ñ's lil wild self.

As community service for basically defending ourselves against our so-called parents at the time, A@r0ñ & I had the cutest assignment to find some shelter kittens & cats a new home.

The assignment seemed simple enough on the surface. 

But y'all already know here in the DMV Area, things are rarely as "simple" as they first appear 👀

One of the cats we had to find a new home was named "P!$$f!ñg3rs." 

Ol' P!$$ was a smoove 19+ years old; had allergies to everything, it seemed... including air; was, technically, morbidly obese for a cat (though I, personally, love me a chunky cat 😻); & his elderly owner had recently passed away, hence us having to re-home Mr. P!$$f!ñg3rs. 

He was named "P!$$f!ñg3rs" by the owner's rambunctious grandkids, and--at damn near 20 years old--*EXCLUSIVELY* answered to that name alone 😂

Me & my bro A@r0ñ set up shop in *somebody's* suburban cul-de-sac, y'all, literally selling a box of 😼 by a patch of grass 😹😹😹 #TheBaddest

And guess what, followers:

We *FOUND* P!$$f!ñg3rs a "forever home"--at least for the next few months or so of his existence 😸 

...As mentioned earlier, ol' boy was geriatric AF for a feline ⏳

Selling 🐈 by the grass as kids is just *one* of the wild & wonderful adventures A@r0ñ R0s3ñth@l & I have embarked upon over the years. 

And as wacky as things get in our entirely too large family structure, I really wouldn't want them to be any other kind of way 😇

That said:

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A@r0ñ R0s3ñth@l, #HBDwh0re 🥳

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Here's to many more! 🥂

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P.S. When asked why he impregnated our g0d-awful so-called birth "mothers" with his seed, our shared dad (or "Sir G@y," as we call him ✊🏾) responded that he "can't help" if the Jew bishes love his "BBC" 😭💀 #RealTears