"Ch!p the H0b0s3xü@l"

Name: Ch!p@!0 N. Str33t, a.k.a. "Ch!p the H0b0s3xü@l"

Birthdate: Deceased 💀

Location: Formerly of Washington state--*NOT* Washington, District of Columbia 🙅🏾‍♀️🚫

Why they feelin' The Sting today:

This is Ch!p the H0b0s3xü@l, y’all. Didn’t know my city birthed b!tch ñ!99@s til I met this dude 😒👎

It looks like a DëB@rgë reject in the form of a bloated m0nk3y coming down off a days-long ç0kë binge 🙊 #SuperTragic

After a schoolmate informationally interviewed Ch!p regarding its intern experience at a large, multi-national technology company, it completely shot down her idea to start her own blog. 

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...Right before blogs exploded in popularity 🤯

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Actually, it shot down her *entire* academic background, down to the language she chose to study as a child 😬 #WTF 

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Lack of foresight much, "br0"??? 

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...For something that calls itself a 'techie,' anyway. 

Unless “techie” = “incel” in its delusional a$$ world—which apparently it does.

We *supposed* to be kinfolk, dawg: 

From the same city; reppin' the same college; being two of the *very* few people out here doing what we do for a living who look like us 👀

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...But, as always, that #jealousy is a MF 🦀🛢🤷🏾‍♀️ 

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This thing Ch!p’s inexplicably sky-high ego + total lack of interpersonal skills led it to disrobe in front of the interviewer soon as the informational interview wrapped 😱🤢 #WhatTheActualEff #ReadTheRoomFool  

With its hairy incel a$$ being inched closer & closer to her face, the interviewer didn’t know *what* to do 😓 

Forcefully smacking the jont wouldn’t make it go away; in fact, it might just @r0üse this fool further 🤔

Shocked into action, the interviewer was ultimately forced to go where no sense-having female had (allegedly) gone before: 

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She stuck a pinky up the jont to—#finally!!!—get it out her MF-ing face 🤭🍑 

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Surprisingly, Ch!p LOVEDDDDD it 😳 

Both parties screamed at the discovery—one in pleasure, the other in straight-up horror ☠️☠️☠️

This is a #NoJudgmentZone y’all, but Ch!p’s bloated DëB@rgë reject “look” + complete lack of social skills + inability to read the fkn room made any & *ALL* future interactions on campus awkward *AF,* ok??? 

IDK what part of #UPT (Uptown) DC they raise n!gs like ol' Ch!p in, but it’s *DEFINITELY* not the part I claim 🙅🏾‍♀️🚫

Anyways, I share this story cuz Ch!p sho’ talk a lotta 💩 for somebody who really, REALLY enjoys—I’m talking extreme levels of pleasure, here—a pinky up the 🍑. 

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#That’sAll 😌

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Today's Bee Day Heauxs:

• "Uncle Tom"*

• "Roach"

• "Ch!p the H0b0s3xü@l"

• "Becky"

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*Honorary Bee Day h0e 🐝