#HBD: D. Ch@pp3ll3

Name: D@v!d Kh@ri W3bb3r Ch@pp3ll3

Birthdate: 8/24/1973

Location: Worldwide via Washington, DC 😎✈️

Why they feelin' The Sting today:

I got to know Biological Dad #5 through his friendship with Bio Dads #3 & #4; all three of them are born in the same year, days or months apart.

Skateboard parks are where we usually convened. My biological dads are ridiculously famous today, but y’all gotta understand just how nerdy & socially awkward these guys used to be--and probably still are, to some extent 🤓

Even when I was dressed like “one of the guys” as a toddler, teenaged versions of Bio Dads #3, #4, & #5 treated me… differently. Not better or worse than other little girls, but kinda setting me aside & “othering” me. 

An example would be if some other chick was at the skate park that day & reacted a certain way to my dads’ teenaged nonsense, they’d use baby Me as a gauge to determine if that chick was “down” enough to hang out & get to know our family better…

I was like my dads’ own personal “girl” to bounce ideas off of #LOL 🤦🏾‍♀️ 

Looking back, I see how trippy it must’ve been for my younger dads to be tasked with raising a girl child, with her own bad a$$ little boy child, who is also the second coming of herself here to avenge the first Lisa’s d3@th versus her evil twin brother & diabolical birth mom 😓 #WhewChile

Bio Dad #5 took this steaming hot pile of mess & made it legit *funny,* y’all 😆

That’s always been his talent: 

Taking some wild 💩, calling it what it is & dissecting the nonsense, then roasting the *eff* out of who- or whatever led Bio Dad #5 to start flaming ‘em up in the first place 🔥

As one could imagine, Bio Dad #5 was King of the school lunch table roasting session, so much so that he started getting attention from folks reppin’ the NYC stand-up comedy scene.

After graduating high school, that’s exactly where Dad headed to make a name for himself outside of the DMV Area 🍎

My relationship with Bio Dad #5  deepened once *I* reached high school; Dad feels his humor can best be appreciated by audiences of high school age & up, though I always caught a chuckle from him regardless of my age at the time ☺️

Dad’s definitely not above surprising your high school student body with a drop-in visit, either--*IF,* & only if, he füx with you like that. 

Just because you “allegedly” come from his loins, don’t mean he gotta hang out with *OR* raise your a$$ 😒 #stamp

...Bio Dad #5 always let me know that wasn’t the case with me, though. 

Even with his personal preference as a parent most comfortable raising boy children, Dad went around proudly claiming to be one of my 11 (!!!) MF-ing biological daddies in the freak show that was my life at the time 🥲

Dad even dedicated his first starring role in a cult classic film to ya girl--saying that, at the end of the day, he 

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“[D]oes it all for a B!üñt” 🌬️🍃

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#LMAO 😭💜

All this is to say: 

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Thanks a milli for all you’ve done & continue to do, Dad! 

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I know it’s not much, but this blog post’s for *YOU* 🍻