#HBD: R. "Hoodrat" F3ñty

Name: R0byñ "Hoodrat" F3ñty

Birthdate: 2/20/1988

Location: Worldwide via St. Michael, Barbados ✈️

Why they feelin' The Sting today:

Let me preface this flaming by saying how much I adore R0byñ the Person (vs. R0byñ the Brand, or R0byñ the Product). I literally think of her as myself in another corporeal form--kinda like twins conjoined in thought, not body 😍

I, personally, don't find R0byñ's hyper-s3xü@l behavior offensive; she acts exactly how I'd expect someone with her look, background, & specific life experiences to act. 

In fact, I revel in R0byñ's s3xü@lity*--on the rare occasion she wears a bra, it's literally like the sun went away, y'all 😞

That said, more than a few specific types of individuals are highly-offended by R0byñ simply expressing herself in ways that work *FOR HER*--it goes without saying, but everybody's not R0byñ "Hoodrat" F3ñty out here... the girl could literally make a burlap sack dress pop off in the fashion world.

These specific types of individuals typically make themselves known in the form of elderly, deeply insecure, mostly Black (in terms of racial makeup) women.

I had a convo with my beloved Grandma Sally recently, giving R0bz her props for becoming a real-life billionaire 🤑

"She's still a tramp," Sally said, with her trademark deadpan honesty.

"I beg to differ, Granny," I said. 

"R0byñ's *THAT* tramp at this point. She's what all these other tramps aspire to be."

Sally smiled knowingly to herself, calmly sipping her coffee as we watched the remainder of the gossip show segment. 

Even though Sally's--& all the other cute old ladies she represents--words about R0byñ were acerbic, I know for a fact that deep inside their elderly hearts, these women are getting their mfn lives to the fact that a Bad B!tch like R0byñ 

1. Exists IRL, 

2. Don't give a single eff bout none of these n!gs *OR* these wannabe h0es--even though she's had what most people would consider an astronomical amount of s3x partners over the years, 

3. Seems to be on a personal mission to (quite literally) eff the world, 

4. This b!tch loves smoking so much, I heard she was literally *PREGNANT* with some B!üñts, y'all 😂... 

The list goes on & on for just how lovable this unapologetic, no-bra-wearing, next-level hoodrat who can only "keep it classy" for 'bout 45 minutes to an hour *tops* R0byñ "Hoodrat" F3ñty is, y'all 😍 

Like, even her haters--& there are *MANY*--straight-up love this b!tch & are forced, through said hatred, to still give Sis her props 😌

I mean, this chick R0byñ initially set off on a mission to eff the world, right. Tell me why she had the entire world--& its mama--all up in her uterine business, getting ready to deliver our A$AP Babies 😭 #genius

The R0byñ Experience--tagline: "It's R0byñ Season, all-yearlong"--is totally surreal, y'all. She's literally like a superhero-slash-mogul-slash-full-grown doll baby or some sh!t 🤩

But above all, R0byñ's a Real A$$ Person, too ✊🏾

And she ain't got *NO* prahlems being referred to by the hustle she initially came up on, then used as a springboard to the wild, crazy-profitable lifestyle she leads today. (Think: *THAT* h0e... not "a" h0e; *THAT* h0e 😉)

Anyways. R0byñ "Hoodrat" F3ñty, #HBDwh0re 🥳

Please, for the love of G0d & all that's holy & good, never--#NEVERRRRRRR!!!--change your heaux a$$ ways, darlin' 😘

.

---

* R0byñ & I had a conversation once about how she'd categorize her s3xü@lity, in her own words, being that she'll gladly sl33p with men but her personal preference is 🐈. 

"So... you're bis3xü@l?" I asked.

R0byñ said, if anything, she's a "try-s3xü@l," cuz whatever you're working with down there, she's curious about it & wants to attempt satisfying it s3xü@lly 😂

Ironically, she says this with a *completely* straight face, y'all... 💀

Never change (only dollaz!!!), h0e ❤️

Figured I'd end this post with some Fun F3ñty Facts:

- R0byñ's spirit animal is a "s3x kitten." (She really loves 🐈, y'all.) When we were younger, people would always ask her: "Why not be a regular kitten???" To which I'd reply: "Why be a regular ferret when you can be a 's3x' ferret?" 🦦😭 #RealQuestion 

- Our zodiac sign is Pisces ♓️, whose animal symbol is two fish swimming in opposite directions. This pretty much reflects our actual lived experience as a super-famous person & a well-known but decidedly private citizen 🤫

- We literally have a reputation as each other's doppelgänger. I went on vacay to Bermuda once, a few months after R0byñ had performed there. One island guy was *REALLY* hyped up over what he assumed was R!h in disguise, telling me about all the freaky-deaky s3xü@l sh!t she did during her show (...and prolly afterwards too, lol). 

I told dude, "I know exactly who you talking about, sir. I promise it ain't me! But, please, continue telling me about 'my' wild, freaky shenanigans," steady drinking my Dark n' Stormy as we walked. 

Before long, I look behind us & this island guy had "blown my cover" to the point that a small-but-growing number of people were following us, tryna get ya girl to admit to being R!h in disguise #lmao. Even the customs agents were skeptical, implying my real name sounded just like one R0byñ would use as her "fake name" 😆

...Which is *absolutely* true, that girl *LOVES* her a b!üñt, ok?! But the main takeaway here should be that R0byñ & I are two *separate* individuals, y'all 👍🏾

- Both of us are allergic to being called "pretty." Most people find that odd, seeing as how Sis is beautiful AF. But she's literally been called 'pretty' since birth; R0byñ's (& our biological mama's, too, tbh) thinking is that she'd be more flattered, impressed & intrigued with a dissenting opinion of her world-class "look." Personally, I don't think the 🅿️-word is an apt enough descriptor for R0byñ's sheer level of gorgeousness, inside *AND* out--but I'm hella biased, of course 💄💅🏾😘

SIDENOTE: It seems our family has a long history of putting its precious baby girls in precarious picture situations... Here's one of our ancestors in what *very much* appears to be an electric chair (!!!):

When your biological mama's a legendary h0e, damn near anything is bound to happen 🤦🏾‍♀️ #SMH