"Freakiest Day of the Year" Award

OK, followers. Y'all are already familiar with how Daddi !i$@ likes to give out metaphorical 'trophies' to MFs that be getting on her very *LAST* nerves. 

The logic here is that everybody wants to feel like a winner, right??? 

*ESPECIALLY* the losers 🥇

So, since they insist on forcing their random AF selves into my own personal version of the "RN H0e-lympics" (#IYKYK 😉), I like to have 'em compete for various awards & such.

I'm talkin' awards like "Mustiest Wannabe Pr0$t!tüte on Earth" award.

I'm talkin' "Quickest MF to Say Something Wildly Offensive at the Family Function & Get My Foot Broke Off in They 🍑" award.

...Y'all get the jist of it.

Anyways, days of the year can *also* get this #werk that Daddi !i$@ serves up, followers. 

Today's "Freakiest Day of the Year" award goes to the one... 

The only...

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 June 9th 🥳👏🏾

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Yes, yes, y'all. Figured I'd honor the day in question by remembering one of the very first peer-level freaks I encountered in my life (besides my good sis R0byñ, that is 😇): 

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A down-on-her-knees a$$ bish named ~Añt0ñ!@~ 😍

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If you've been following ya girl since her original blog days, you may recall Miss Añt0ñ!@ having gone by the pseudonym of 'T0ñy@.' 

Let's take a trip down memory lane & revisit that epic blog post from oh-so-long ago...

C@th0!ic School Stories: Giving Out 'T0nyas' in the Boys Locker Room

I'd like to introduce a new segment to my blog called "C@th0l!c School Stories." 

I attended a C@th0l!c high school after only being in public schools up to that point. 

As a non-C@th0l!c,* it was an... intriguing experience to say the very least.

I'll start this series with a lovely young lady named T0ñy@'s** story.

I met T0ñy@ my freshman year in high school. We had a lot of classes together, but very little else in common. 

We had distinct groups of friends, disparate grades in class--and, as I soon found out, very different ways of spending our extracurricular time...

During gym class one day, I took a break from sitting in the bleachers reading my book--I always told our male gym teacher I was on my cycle so as to avoid physical activity/sweating out my hair... yes, I was that lazy lol. The uncomfortable look on his face whenever I told him this excuse was *just enough* to keep me on the bench most of that semester 😅--to go to the bathroom. 

Lo & behold, who do I see coming out of the *boys* locker room but T0ñy@ herself.

"Girls room crowded?" I asked. 

It usually was, with only two very tiny stalls to use.

"Uh... no, not really," T0ñy@ said, looking rather embarrassed.

"Alrighty then..." I said, continuing to the girls locker room.

But before I could even take a step forward, the door to the boys locker room swung wide open & almost hit me right in the face; I was stopped in my tracks by none other than a male member (😏) of the junior varsity football team. 

...We all exchanged awkward looks 😬

"Yep. Well... see you in class then," I said, rushing to the girls bathroom.

A few months later, T0ñy@ stopped showing up to class. Every time her name was called for attendance, there was silence. 

One of our teachers made an inquiry to the front office about T0ñy@'s absenteeism, & that's how we found out ol' girl was expelled for--you guessed it: 

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Giving out 'T0ñy@s' in the boys locker room 💀 

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Apparently, I wasn't the only one who interrupted her little gym class rendez-vous--our dean of students did, too 🥴

Naturally, this led to a lot of questions among the freshman student body, namely: 

"Is 'giving T0ñy@s' really considered gettin' it on?" [Wiener in body = Yes]

And "Can you get pregnant from 'T0ñy@s'?" [No. And take an anatomy class, #PLEASE]

One girl even had the audacity to ask these questions of Miss District of Columbia, who came to speak to our entire school about motivational-type stuff one semester. 

Miss DC looked maaaad uncomfy up there on the podium, trying to explain to ~500 C@th0l!c school students how their bodies work 🤭

Finally, she just said: 

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"Wrap it up, kids."

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Good enough, Miss DC... good enough 👍

The same semester T0ñy@ got expelled & before Miss DC was booked to speak to us, a girl far more popular than me & who I didn't think knew I existed leaned over in religion class & asked me, Virginal High School Lisa, if what T0ñy@ was up to is honestly equal to knockin' tha boots. 

What a ridiculous question, I thought at the time. 

One, that this girl was asking *ME* like I'm some kind of s3xpert (I'm not, & *CERTAINLY* wasn't in high school). 

And two, that these kids are like, fourteen or fifteen years old, doing all types of freak nasty stuff on *AND* off school grounds, but have *no idea* how to protect themselves or even the consequences of what they're doing 😱 

At the same time, I couldn't blame this chick for having questions; it's not like she'd learn the answers in a C@th0l!c school of all places, right??

Homegirl looked so genuinely curious & naive asking that question, I kinda pitied her. 

So I broke it down for her, even directing her to a teen girl-focused website I found particularly enlightening around that time. 

Ol' Girl seemed satisfied with my response, & that was that. 

...At least until junior year, when she turned up pregnant her damn self 🤦🏾‍♀️

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Ah, well. You live & you (hopefully) learn.

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* I consider myself a student of all religions... a fancy way of saying I don't practice one religion exclusively.

** Name changed to protect the guilty freaky 😜