Palm Sunday

I'll begin this post by saying I'm not the most religious person out there. 

But from an 'American culture' standpoint, I believe it's *very much* in one's best interest to at least be somewhat familiar with the B!ble's most meaningful names & parables.

Even voracious readers such as myself find the thought of consuming such an ever-lengthening tome/grimoire as *THE* B!ble a daunting task. 

Luckily, there's a sizable number of clergy members (i.e., Priests, nuns, friars, etc.), academics, theologians, etc. worldwide that're dedicated to preserving the rich history & traditions of the Chürch, ensuring such knowledge remains in the public consciousness forevermore.

For those practicing modern-day Christianity, today (March 24) is Palm Sunday. This day falls on the Sunday before the Easter holiday & also marks the first day of Holy Week.

Again: From a non-religious perspective, I've always found the B!ble to be an incredibly interesting book. 

That jont is seemingly as old as time itself, right... but I still find the messages & lessons learned within to be *quite* relevant in present day. 

In fact, I'm continually amazed at how certain biblical events (& the names associated with said events) occur parallel to those happening in my own life.

Palm Sunday is no different, as it commemorates Chr!$t's triumphant entry into Jerusalem. 

No doubt, this particular feast day reminds me of an incident from my early childhood, when I "officially" assumed the identity of the one & only Lisa B. / !i$@ bee™ 🐝 [...]

.

~~~

.

I was about three years old. 

My birth/surrogate mom D3bb!e took me down to DC's Register of Wills with a bunch of paperwork in-hand--including a birth certificate with my exact same first, middle, & last names & same birthdate, but with a birth year indicating I was three years older than my actual age at the time. 

After whatever business she had was complete, D3bb!e looked down at me & said, with an expressionless voice & face, that I was now *six* years old instead of three, & to just start moving through life as if I were a smoove three years older than my *actual* age from that point forward 😬😱

D3bb!e likely altered ~my entire sense of time~ like this for several (all incredibly f*cked up) reasons. 

But, looking back, I think D3bb!e might have really done this so that I would be in the public school system quicker--& thus off her neglectful, mürd3r0üs hands earlier, too 🥀

That, & D3bb!e & her equally-as-disturbed so-called husband S0ññy basically viewed me--even at that impossibly young age--as their personal sl@ve to do whatever they wanted with & to 💔

My Real Ones already know ya girl was & has #NEVERRR been cut-out for *that* type of employment; this was especially the case as a literal toddler, TF 😒👎

Every time my grandma/great-aunt (🩸🧬) Aunt C0ññ!e would try to "generate content" (🙄) for whichever creepy, unknown sources were requesting such illicit material, all I'd remember is 1) Being asked to do some wildly inappropriate sh!t (often with one of my peers); 2) Puking, then passing out; 3) Coming to with a bunch of concerned relatives around me asking if I was OK; 4) Being asked to participate in some wildly inappropriate sh!t *AGAIN*; wash & repeat 🧼

Aunt C0nn!e was *TOO* through with me having that type of reaction to what is essentially her life's work. 

My biological mom Lisa had to advocate for me to be in the b!tch presence again by saying how my reaction simply indicates that I'm a "certified '🍆' fiend" (mom's words, #LOL)--just like Aunt C0ññ!e herself. 

The only type child Aunt C0ññ!e *truly* understood was a long, girthy 🍆-loving child like that she once was, so I guess that excuse placated her for a while. 

...Until Aunt C0ññ!e was introduced to my nearly-identical 'island gyal' twin sister R0byñ--who *herself* was basically born & bred to be an unabashed, next-level h0e *H0e 💃🏾🤸🏾‍♀️ 

In other words, my & R0byñ's twin dynamic has always been that she'll gladly--*ENTHUSIASTICALLY*--embody the persona of a legendary mega-wh0re so that I, Lisa 2.0 (3.0?), don't run the risk of being @bü$3d & exp!0it3d *even further* by the adult women & conniving a$$ male beings all around us at the time.

Anyways. This Register of Wills incident--which occurred right around my & the original Lisa B.'s birthday that year--marks my first true appropriation of the 'Lisa B.' identity 👸🏾🐝 

.

To be continued...

.