L@tr!sh@ the Neighborhood Tr@nny

First off: Happy Pride Month, followers 🏳️‍🌈

Figured I'd commemorate the month ahead by sharing with you all one of my favorite characters from where I used to stay--that is, "Around the Way:" A spicy lil diva who goes by the name 'Tr!sh' a.k.a. "L@tr!sh@ the Neighborhood Tr@nny" 😍

Yes, Tr!sh is a diesel a$$ biological male with pecs & biceps for dayssss.

But as I used to tell her & her fellow tr@nny friends before heading off to work every morning, 

"Y'all are *STILL* more ladylike than the beasts with v@g!n@s I'm forced to work amongst daily to make a living" 🥴

When I first moved over that way, Tr!sh & friends pretty much ran the whole block--particularly the street corner directly under one of my apartment windows.

Because I'd always greet them with a friendly "Good morning, ladies!" before hopping in my whip to drive to work, Tr!sh & I kinda developed a special bond where she'd (briefly) inform me of  1. The past night's activities; 2. Which married-with-kids customers she'd... entertained the night before; & 3. Who most-recently got they a$$es molly whopped for talkin' that nonsense.

...It was a great way to start my mornings, y'all, not gonna lie 😅

I remember one morning Tr!sh informed me that somebody got st@bbed, like, seventeen times right on that street corner she be posted up at with her friends 😬

I must've looked shocked as h3ll because Tr!sh said I looked a little pale in the face after she told me that.

It's just that, the night prior, I'd had the best mf-ing sleep of my life--dreaming about unicorns & Care Bears & ish.

"I didn't hear a damn thang & slept like a baby!" I told Tr!sh.

"That's the city for ya," Tr!sh said. 

"Wild ish be poppin' off ALL. 

THE. 

TIME" 😵‍💫

And the neighborhood we were in wasn't even that bad, y'all. 

It was like, step outside to the left = #SALVATION. 

Step outside to the right, & you're literally smack dab in the middle of the hood lol 😂

I won't hold you, followers: That kind of neighborhood set-up made for some *VERY* funny & interesting updates from Tr!sh & friends in the mornings.

For instance, I took my baby Lil Em out to meet The Girls one morning, just to make sure he doesn't grow up to be some tr@nsph0bic d0uch3b@g.

Tell me why Em went back to his home state of New Mexico telling all his classmates how, depending on which direction the tumbleweave is blowing from, you can tell how far away 'Lil D@r!us' (a.k.a. The Neighborhood Eff-Up) was when he got his a$$ beat for talkin' that nonsense again #LMAO 

If Tr!sh *really* effs with you on an interpersonal basis, she truly be lookin' out for ya, too.

For example, I was kinda blown one morning having to trek into the office *YET AGAIN* to deal with my next-level d0uch3b@g co-workers at the time, right...

Tell me why Tr!sh--out of nowhere--asked me "Who did yo' a$$?" implying I must have gotten a BBL cuz them ch33ks was CH33KIN' that morning in my lil business casual swag #LOL 🍑

Gotta give it to Tr!sh, she sure knows how to put a smile on somebody's face (though I guess that's technically her job 🤷🏾‍♀️). 

I responded with a grin that "Dr. G0d did this work," which got a gruff, deep-voiced chuckle out of the ladies present on the street corner that morning, haha.

And if you ever find yourself in any kinda trouble with your (presumably) staunchly h3t3ros3xu@l paramour, Tr!sh will literally get on the stand in somebody's courtroom--after 'Whoever' gives their testimony, of course, adamantly professing their 'staunch h3t3ros3xu@lity' to the world--& go into wayyyy-too-graphic detail about how there's a group of Bad Tr@nny H0es, including Tr!sh herself, that say *otherwise* 😇

Gawd, she's so real, y'all 😩👏🏾

Tr!sh, b!tch: 

This blog post is for *YOU,* Miss Mamas 🥳🌈