#HBD: L. M!ch3ll3 B0n3t

Name: L!$@ M!ch3ll3 B0n3t (née B0n3y) 

Birthdate: 11/16/~1967

Location: Worldwide ✈️

Why they feelin' The Sting today:

A world-class entertainer who prefers to be addressed as *THAT* h0e or *THAT* b!tch (versus just "a" h0e/"a" b!tch 😉), my biological mom is certainly a character 😆

At the time of my birth, she was one of the very few women curious & brave enough to experiment on herself genetically—with a male ancestor of ours’ help, of course 🧬⚠️👀

I’m hesitant to label Mom a full-blown n@rc!$$!$t, especially compared to some of our predecessors. 

But fact is, my biological mom plus this one male ancestor’s original intent was to clone *her* essence, while also exploring other ways for women who can’t physically give birth to get pregnant.

A young teen with a slim frame, my mom was actually already a mother to my slightly older sister M!$ty & genetic twin brother B@xt3r, who were also born via gestational carrier/surrogate.

All this is to say: 

As young as she was at the time & as haphazard as my personal life/existence seems to be (and *IS*) today—as much as it could be, y’all, this was all planned 😬😳

Y’all may remember the term “hetero-maternal superfecundation” if you've been following since my Tw!tt3r thread days; this refers to twins with different—in this case, surrogate—mothers.

My older sister, genetic twin brother, nearly-identical twin sister & I have the same biological mom & different surrogates who birthed us—mostly, if not all, my biological mom’s extended female family members.

Our biological dads (yes, that’s *plural* for all of us 🙃) are roughly the same, though my genetic twin brother & nearly-identical twin sister & I share the most paternal heritage, making us “sesquizygous” (or semi-identical) twins, genetically-speaking.

.

...With my genetic twin brother & I, that's despite our roughly three-year age gap 🥴

.

Y’all may recall from the same earlier Tw!tt3r threads that if one egg is fertilized by two sperm, it results in *three* sets of chromosomes: 

.

One (1) from the mom & two (2) from the dad.

.

Again: 

.

Three (3) sets of chromosomes are typically incompatible with life & embryos *do not* usually survive. 

.

So tell me why this fool a$$ male ancestor of ours decided to try the sh!t with not two sperm... but *ELEVEN,* y’all 🤦🏾‍♀️😵‍💫

It "worked" in my genetic twin brother’s case, but with #DISASTROUS results: 

.

They basically effed around & created the @nt!chr!$t himself, followers 👹🔥 #SMH  

.

Big Bro was, indeed, a deceptively cute & vi0l3ñt baby. Kinda like a C@bb@ge P@tch doll gone rogue 🔪🩸 

Our biological mom & dads—all under 25 years old at the time—knew their lil genetic experiment *could* work, given the right conditions... 

So they did what any team of scientists or genetic engineers would do & simply tried again with some minor tweaks to the process—resulting in me, !i$@ bee™ 💁🏾‍♀️🐝

It was basically on & poppington from *birth* for ya girl, since I was essentially born & raised with the ultimate goal of taking down my slightly older evil genetic twin brother 🖕😈🖕

This is why—though I do go around letting MFs know I'm #NotTheOne to be tested or tried in any kind of way whatsoever—I’m actually *second* in quite a few pairings in my life 🥈

I’m the second in a set of Irish quadruplets (or Irish quintuplets, including my baby Moe), in addition to belonging to three+ other, separate sets of twins; I’m Lisa 2.0 to the original Lisa B. (#RIP); & I have the same first name, middle & last initials as my biological mom 😓 #WhewChile 

With my kind of family background & wild AF upbringing, it’s needless to say I *STAYED* in & out of somebody’s p0l!ce precinct, courtroom, j@i!h0u$e, hospital, etc.—not necessarily for myself, of course. 

...But just handling family business with or on behalf of my many relatives 🤷🏾‍♀️

In court documents, it was nearly impossible to tell Bio Mom’s testimony apart from my own, given the similarities in our names & initials.

One could say this is the exact moment when mother & daughter "split": 

Thinking of Bio Mom as the alpha version of Me, I consider *myself* the beta version of her. 

Hence: 

.

"Lisa B." 

😇💰🐝

.

The “B” can stand for anything, really—but it *neverrr* stood for 'broke,' OK y’all??? 

...Or 'bougie.' 

A true Queen Bee is for the people—& I *keeps* a huge hive around me 👸🏾✊🏾🐝

Anywho: 

Along with our lovely eldest sister M!$ty, the remaining Irish quads & I are the first daughters of our beloved biological mama, "Lisa A." 🥲💜

.

Mom:

.

#HBD you s3xy wh0re, you 🥳💐

.