#HBD: Z. I$@b3!!@ Kr@v!tz

Name: Z0ë I$@b3!!@ Kr@v!tz

Birthdate: 12/1/1988

Location: ...Wherever fried potato products with fabulous coiffed hair-do's hangout 🤷🏾‍♀️

Why they feelin' The Sting today:

As a baby, my fourth & final Irish quadruplet looked *just* like a tater tot with hair, y'all 🥔💁🏾‍♀️ 

As recognized as she is in the world, her look—& very little else, unfortunately—is the most interesting thing about Sis 😕 #iPromiseYouThat

I know that response doesn’t satisfy those of you seeking some kind of inside info on Sis' life, so let’s see what I can add to that description... 🤔 

Uh... Sis has an umlaut in her name (a shoutout to our German heritage) 🇩🇪🍻

She’s managed her dyslexia to the point she’s able to work professionally despite it 👏 #RightOnGirl 

She got our mom’s #ENTIRE face, y’all, but literally none of her ~pizazz~ (Again: Personality = Non-existent) 😓 

As you can see, the most interesting things about Baby Girl are 💩 she has little to no control over, like her given name, learning disability, & physical appearance 😬

This *does not* stop Sis from trying to capitalize off of just how much she resembles our mama, though 👀

That alone has created a nearly lifetime rift between the two women, with Mom accusing Sis of performing a "poor man’s version" of Mom’s legendary vibe & essence by showing up to functions with Mom’s whole face—& basically nothing else to back it up 🤭

I’m just speaking #truth & #facts, y'all, & have no dog in this fight between them whatsoever 🙅🏾‍♀️

...But this particular rift has indirectly caused Sis & I to be pitted against each other (from a sibling rivalry perspective) since we were toddlers 🤦🏾‍♀️  

Yet again: 

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Despite making up a set of Irish quadruplets—or quintuplets, if including my baby Moe—Sis & I are, in fact, *TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE* y’all, damn 😤

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Like, you wouldn’t take a fish & expect it to climb a tree; why expect the same exact behaviors or lifestyle choices from people who are very, very, *way-too-closely* related, many times over—yet complete individuals, nonetheless??? 🤨 #RealQuestion

I’m not gonna sit here & pretend to have devoured Sis’ *entire* TV & film catalog, but I’m guessing she gets whatever professional props she does for playing roles that are very similar to her & our mom’s bohemian artsy-fartsy vibe & public perception. 

Once again, though: 

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That public perception Sis has comes *DIRECTLY* from our mama. 

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People meet Sis & literally expect the second coming of Mom Dukes or sum'n.

Sis just ain’t it, my babies, & both parties wind up leaving the interaction with Sis #DisappointedAF because of this frequently-occurring phenomenon 🥴

One remarkable thing about Sis, though—to me—is that she’s the *very* first person I encountered in real-life who was essentially “famous for being famous,” personality or talent be damned.

I would say I’m proud of her (for something, I guess), but Baby Girl is pretty, vi0l3ñt, *AND* well-financed, ok??? 💰🤑💵

Imma do like y’all shoulda done from jump & just continue admiring the bish from afar... 😘✨

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Z0ë I$@b3!!@ MF-ing Kr@v!tz:

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#HBDwh0re 🥳

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