Reb3cca TDAWB

Name: R0b3rt F. "B0bby" K3nn3dy III

Birthdate: 9/2/1984

Location: Wherever it currently is, it needs to go straight to 🔥 #ThatsReal 

Why they feelin' The Sting today:

In the midst of minding my own MF-ing business, I almost forgot to flame up the infamous fetal alcohol syndrome-faced super d0uch3b@g B0bby K3nn3dy III, forever immortalized in the following excerpted post from my original (and now-defunct) blog yaylisabee:

"In the wake of Sen. Ted K3nn3dy's death, I've decided to share an all-too-brief encounter I had with a member of the prominent family.

Fall of my sophomore year, A Tribe Called Quest reunited for the Rock the Bells Tour. I *LOVED* ATCQ at this point in my life (still do, for real for real), so I desperately wanted to be at that concert. 

Unfortunately, the closest the tour was coming to my school was this little town about an hour/hour and a half away from campus. NO RIDE to get out there and, of course, the bus and train didn't stop there from Providence, RI. 

I bought my ticket anyway, and put a notice up on my school's online campus bulletin board looking for a ride.

In class a few hours later, I heard that some guy named Wendell* was going to the concert and driving himself and some friends there from my school. 

Sweet. 

"Wendell," of course, turns out to be Wen-DELL, RFK's grandson and JFK's nephew (I think that's right... eh, it's big family). 

We didn't run in the same circle of friends at school, so I knew very little about Wendell... other than his d0uch3-tastic F@c3b00k picture at the time, which featured him--shirtless--with "THUG LIFE" written across his stomach Tup@c-style. 

...Not the best first impression 😒

Anyways, I figured I wasn't in this to make a new friend, or even like the guy on a basic level; I just needed a ride to that concert.

Game day comes around and about five of us pile into Wendell's weathered Bimmer headed for the Tribe concert. From the time we left the city of Providence to the time we partied with people Wendell knew in the town where the concert was playing to the time we actually MADE it to the concert doors is mostly a blur, but I *do* remember the concert itself being pretty awesome. 

It's *AFTER* the concert that things started going downhill.

So Wendell and maybe three people in the car decide they want to meet up with some more people they knew in the town where the concert was being held. It was about 1 a.m. at this point, and me and this hippie girl we rode up there with were wondering when the eff we were all gonna leave, as some of us had class and -ish in the morning.

Wendell and his three friends decide they're "too wasted" to get back to Providence that night, and say they're all "gonna crash" at their other friend's place.

"SO HOW *TF* ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET BACK TO SCHOOL?!" me and this other chick wondered out loud.

 Wendell basically says that's *our* problem, and goes off to rejoin the party.

"THAT'S WHY YOUR DAD'S A DRUNK!" I screamed. 

I think it fell on deaf ears (most *definitely* drunk ears), but I thought it was a clever and appropriate response at the time.

Me and the hippie chick looked at each other blankly for a few seconds before realizing we needed to think quick to get out of this h!cktown (OK, not really; more like a small city... but no buses or trains stopped there! That equals 'h!cktown' to me 🤷🏾‍♀️) and back to civilization.

There just so happened to be some random guy from the concert who followed a group of us to Wendell's OTHER friend's house, the one where he stranded us, and who kept staring alluringly/creepily at the hippie chick I was with. 

We thought maybe he went to school with us, or somewhere in the vicinity of the concert, but after chatting him up for a few minutes, turns out he was just some kid who lived in his grandma's basement. 

Chatting him up a few more minutes, we found out he has a car (!), that his grandma's basement is in Providence, RI (!!), and that he was trying to go home THAT NIGHT (!!!).

Then, and I kid you not folks, right after finding that out, the hippie chick I was with and this dude go to a nearby parking lot where "supposedly" his car is located (REMEMBER: We're stranded at this point, this guy could very well be a s3ri@l ki!!er, yo... I know I wasn't going *anywhere* with him alone!!!). 

I asked the chick if she wanted me to come with her; I *know* I would want witnesses if a trial were to go down over this mess. 

She said "Nope, just chill here for a second," and her and the guy walked off into the moonlight.

Fifteen minutes of standing awkwardly outside the party later, Hippie Girl and Possible S3ri@l Ki!!er Guy drive up in his old white N!ss@n 😮‍💨 #whew 

To this day, I don't know *WHAT* That B*tch (✊🏾) did** to get both of us a ride back to Providence that night, but whatever it was, it worked and we're still alive 😅👍

Anyways, moral of the story is: 

Sorry your great-uncle or whatever died, but damn you Wendell K3nn3dy!!!

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*Names have been changed to protect the d0uch3-y.

**Sike, y'all. I know what she did 😏 #lmao"

---

After this complete disaster of an after-party experience that, strangely, turned into a sisterly bonding moment with an as-yet-unnamed Down A$$ B!tch of a random YT hippie chick, I asked ol' girl:

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"Whatever shall I call you, sweet angel?" 🥺

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And just like the Down A$$ B!tch-slash-Get M0n3y H0ney I'd come to know her as that night, ol' girl remained mysterious AF, saying I can call her: 

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"Whatever you want... as long as you don't call me broke." 

😍😍😍😍

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I said: 

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"OK, you mysterious b!tch. You know Imma just refer to you as the 'Down A$$ YT B!tch I met in the woods of Massachusetts who *LITERALLY* suck3d us back to Providence/salvation,' right?"

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Ol' girl said I absolutely *HAD* to refer to her that way in any & all future re-tellings of this tragic a$$ after-party story--THAT'S how I knew she was a Real One 😇✊🏾

So, wherever you are out there, you random, s3xy, bohemian MF-er, know a fellow Real One is outchea holding it down for you...

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For *US* 😄🎉

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And it's forever & *ALWAYS* 🖕B0bby K3nn3dy III.

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The rest of his family's cool, though 👍

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#HBDwh0re 🥳