#HBD: Em3r$0ñ

Name: Em3r$0ñ a.k.a. "Lil Em"

Birthdate: 3/28/20??

Location: New Mexico, USA

Why they feelin' The Sting today:

Figured I'd take today, the day of his birth, to update y'all on my lil cousin-son Em3r$0ñ 🥰

For those who don't already know, Lil Em occupies a unique status in our very-very, extremely, way-too-large family as my Grandma Sally's very first (traditionally-aged) great-grandchild. 

This is to say: 

One of my (admittedly light-skinned AF) uncles is Lil Em's grandpa on his daddy K3v!ñ's side, while his grandpa on his mama M3gh@ñ's side is a Mexican-American straight out of Mexico. 

Needless to say, both of Lil Em's grandmas are YT. 

If y'all have ever wondered what such a racial admixture looks like in real life, well... 

In Lil Em's case it looks like a 100% blond-haired, blue-eyed YT kid 👀

In a large family full of RNs & the beautiful Bs of all shades who love 'em, y'all can *clearly* see how this presents a #RealProblem, right???

Just by Lil Em's very existence--which he had *ZILCH* to do with, by the way--he's offensive AF in that the more melanated individuals of any gender identity in my family feel "some type of way" about even being seen in public around Em3r$0ñ* 😔🥀 

And he's a really cute & smart kid... 🤷🏾‍♀️

Being treated as he is by *some* of my Black fam threatens to have Lil Em grow up with a serious complex about his Black side. 

I imagine Em3r$0ñ receives a similarly chilly reception from his Latino relatives, *JUST* based off how much he looks like a straight-up gringo. 

And I know *for damn sure* he's not being accepted by his YT relatives, no matter how much he might look exactly like them.

For whatever it's worth, Lil Em's Daddi !i$@ thinks he's cool 🤩🚀 

When that side of the family swung it back to our homeland of Washington, DC for a visit, I remember taking Baby Em & his daddy--my biracial, YT-presenting first cousin K3v!ñ--on a day trip to the Southeastern side of the city 🖖🏾

"Now, !i$@ bee™," y'all might be thinking. 

"You took two mixed-race, YT-presenting individuals to *SE DC* for the day???"

Yasssss, heaux! And I'll tell you why:

"Sheeit. These are Y'ALL'S relatives, too, & if *I* have to be related to 'em & know them forevermore, well... so do y'all's YT-looking selves," 

was what I said to Lil Em & his daddy at the time.

So we're driving to SE DC, with Big K3v in my passenger's seat & Lil Em strapped in his car seat in the back. I'm warning them both to keep all arms & legs inside the vehicle--cuz they out here jacking tires, sh00ting through glass, *AND* taking limbs so we gotta move careful--when Lil Em with his cute self asked The Question of the Day, y'all:

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"Are we in Africa right now?"

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Dawg!!! When I tell you his daddy & I couldn't stop laughing 😂🤣😂 We actually rolled up to the family function still in tears, y'all--it was THAT epic. 

Somebody that naturally funny, inquisitive, with perfect comedic timing can't be that bad, right y'all? 

And he's smart AF, too: 

Lil Em came up to me at another, "classier" (🙄) family event & asked me, the IT worker moonlighting as ~superhero~ member of the fam, how computers speak to each other 😍

I told him as simply as I could that, basically, computers speak with numbers in a bunch of ones & zeros (a.k.a. binary code). 

A month or so later, Lil Em's mama M3gh@n posts a drawing of a robot Em3r$0ñ did, with a speech bubble coming from the robot's mouth filled with nothing but ones & zeros 🥺😭

Flash forward to present day, & Lil Em's still effing ish up in the right way. He told me his parents had recently gotten him a pet turtle, right...

I said, "That's cool, I always wanted a pet turtle. What's his name?"

And y'all... 🤭

Lil Em said, "I tell everybody his name is Fr@ñkl!ñ..." 

Then he leaned in &, with all seriousness, whispered the following:

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"...But privately I call him the n-word."

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L.M.A.O. 😂🤣😂

"I'm glad you say it privately, lil man," I told him. 

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"...Because you look like a complete YT person." 💀

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Come to find out, Lil Em was causing something of a ruckus at his New Mexican elementary school, where teachers were "concerned" (🙄) that Lil Em was out there responding positively to being called the 'n-word' to his face by his lil YT & Mexican peers, lol.

His daddy K3v!ñ & I had to make an appearance & calmly explain that Lil Em is being raised to fully embrace his Black side--which in this case, grants Lil Em honorary 'n-word' privileges 🥷🏼

...It's really his birthright to use the n-word, frfr.

All this is to say, Lil Em feels the most #SEEN 👀 & #HEARD 👂🏾 as a YT-presenting BIPOC** when greeted as "(N)!99@!" ☺️

If that wasn't entertaining enough, Lil Em's naming conventions are on point, too: 

Along with Fr@ñkl!ñ the Turtle, Lil Em also acquired two little fish friends he hilariously named "Patqueefious" & "Yomama McB!tchpants." 😹 

Y'all. I realize that's my first cousin's kid, right? 

But for these & so many more reasons, I consider Lil Em my YT-presenting baby, too 💜

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P.S. I'll end this post by emphasizing the fact that, despite how brilliant he is in a variety of ways, my baby Lil Em could still be considered a special needs child, in that he *especially* needs to be raised around some Black folks to not lose his self-identity--& hopefully (🤞) avoid him growing up to be a complete disaster in the future. 

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*Per usual, #iGetIt y'all. I have Black friends living in large, supposedly diverse metropolitan areas who STILL, to present day, are mistaken as their literal offspring's nanny or some other deeply offensive, nonsensical 💩 like that. But that situation's not my baby Lil Em's problem, that's ***society at-large's*** problem so... who are y'all really mad at??? #RealQuestion 🔎

**That's (B)lack, (I)ndigenous--meaning native to America *without* necessarily being Native American--(P)erson (O)f (C)olor, y'all 👍