Filipino Grandma

Since today marks the first day of Asian American & Pacific Islander Heritage Month, figure I'd honor my very own Asian ancestor--Filipino Grandma--with her very own blog post 🥰

My Asian bredren/sistren already know if you gotchu a 'Pino Parent, that's a *whole* different lifestyle you're leading:

Me & my Filipino Grandma first became tight when I entered kindergarten three years early & she'd show up periodically to help my *other* grandmas Aunt C0ññ!e & 'nem explain my complicated a$$ life situation.

She's so cool & chill that the other kids would run up to her, fervently asking-slash-outright claiming her as their OWN grandparent 🤨 #That'sANo-No

Actively swatting the kids away, Filipino Grandma would say:

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"Get TF away from me you lil crumb snatchers--I'm !i$@ bee's grandma, #NOTYOURS" 😏

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The way Filipino Grandma loves her many, MANY descendants, you might think she's callous or "mean" at first.

Here's the catch though: The more she loves you, the harder or "meaner" she is towards you 🥴

For example, Filipino Grandma just randomly up & threw one of our male relatives into a large body of water once, knowing full-well the boy couldn't swim. 

Once he managed to pull himself out the water--panting heavily & gasping for breath--Filipino Grandma was right there in his face calling him a "🐈" for almost drowning, #LOL 😂

She's proud to say that in present day, Unidentified Male Relative *for damn sure* knows how to swim--thanks to her 😌

If Filipino Grandma's special brand of lovin' wasn't enough, she *STAYS* whippin' up some delicious Filipino cuisine 🍴

I'm talkin' lumpia for dayssss; she stays sauced TF down (for dipping the lumpia into 😋); & she innately understands my complete obsession with all things 'rice,' amongst other things 😍

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Filipino Grandma is really the best, y'all 💜

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The lady even has the nerve to be hella quotable (just like her fave grand-daughter 💁🏾‍♀️), sharing gems like:

• "Filipino people are the closest thing you gonna get to a Black American within the Asian sub-groups" (#truth)

• "Me & your grandma Aunt C0ññ!e get along so well cuz I'm from Southeast *Asia* & she's from Southeast *DC*" (#facts)

• "What life problems can't delicious food fix???" (#honesty)

...And so much more. 

Seriously, you almost wanna follow the lady around with a recorder or sum'n just to capture her effortless hilarity 🤣

Anyways, folks. Happy Asian American & Pacific Islander Heritage Month...

Hug or dap up an Asian, Blasian, or HAPA near you to celebrate 🥳