"Mustiest Wannabe Pr0$t!tüte on Earth" Award

On this, the ninth anniversary of my (#FINALLY 😅) receiving a prestigious award in recognition of my professional efforts to--basically--rid the Nation's Capital of society's scummiest individuals, I reminisce on the day I first found out I was even nominated. 

Ol' Kr0tch's expired sandwich-smelling wannabe pr0$t!tüte self was still in town from the Midwest, desperate as ever to be put “on” in the DMV Area 🙄🥱

This hideous troll of a so-called female loudly & ignorantly assumed that everything I’ve achieved for myself thus far in life came as a result of "next-level h0e-ing"--those are *ITS* words, y'all 👀⁉️😵‍💫

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B!tch what?!?! 😤🤬

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Flash forward to present day & Kr0tch seemed to be living *mighty* comfortably all the way in Wilmington, Delaware, where its 🐶🍑 was permanently exiled for having been a prolific, state-hopping, 🍆-riding s3x offender here in the DMV Area.

Anyways. Around the time I mentioned my nomination for this award, Kr0tch actually fixed its boorish mouth-hole to say:

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"I wish someone would nominate *ME* for an award 😫"

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At the time, I said: 

"Look here, Kr0tch. Both you *AND* ya stank a$$ mama are the all-time reigning champs of receiving the 

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'Mustiest Wannabe Pr0$t!tütes on Earth' 

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award."

And *Y'ALL* 🤭

Kr0tch *actually* walked away from that convo *STILL* feeling good about itself, because I said it would qualify to win *ANY* award--even the "Mustiest Wannabe Pr0$t!tüte on Earth" award, dawg 😭💀

In case y'all needed a reminder (I for *damn* sure didn't 😒), Kr0tch's tragically--*F@T@LLY*--light-skinned, so-called "good" hair-having 🍑 looks just like a pig that stood in front of a makeup güñ set to  “clown” 🐷🤡:

The state of Delaware was about as close as Kr0tch's wannabe h0e a$$ could get to DC/the DMV Area, all for bringing its childish antics *straight* to the Nation's Capital--that's a HUGE no-no, followers 😤

Paging all Kr0tches, Kr0tch-enablers, Kr0tch-minions, etc. right quick:

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Just stay your a$$es in Wisconsin or wherever TF y'all originally hail from--is it 'H3ll,' h0es??? #RealQuestion 🔥

--if 'wherever' is tired of your ain't 💩 antics. 

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...Cuz Washington, DC as a *whole* (lol) do.

Not.

WANT.

YOU 🙅🏾‍♀️🤮❌

Also, spirit of Kr0tch: 

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You don’t have what it takes to be any kind of $$$-making h0e. 

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And if you not a $$$-making h0e, *TF* is the point of h0e-ing, h0e??? #YetAnotherRealA$$Question

My Real Ones already completely over-stand this, but the reason ya girl knows so much about 'H0e Life' is cuz I’m related to some of the baddest in The Game, s!üts, *NOT* because I’m actually one of these h0es (#R-E-S-P-E-C-T to all the top-notch h0es, though--never the lesser ✊🏾).

I'm speaking to the Kr0tch-ites *directly* now: 

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It’s called “economics,” b!tches. 

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It don't make dollars if it don't make sense!!!

And if your wannabe h0e a$$es weren’t so concerned with being put “on” as some DMV Area h0es, maybe y'all could actually *learn* y'all something about The Game & the various roles at play 🤨💡📚

But it’s too late for all that, Kr0tch-ites: 

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Y'all have already exposed yourselves as so-called "people" who are deeply--*PROFOUNDLY*--offensive to all genders, thus making y'all some prolific...

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...State-hopping.

...Eggplant emoji-riding.

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*S-3-X  O-F-F-E-N-D-E-R-S* 

🤦🏾‍♀️🍆💦

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#GoodLuck (not really) with all that, Kr0tch-ites 😒👎 

...And with trying to slang those rank, expired sandwich-smelling 🐈s around town, too 🤢

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Delaware, you’ve been warned!!! ⚠️🚨🚫 

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