Good Friday

I recently had a not-so-Good Friday, followers... as it was spent puking my guts out in the ER 🤮

This disturbing condition of mine is just one of myriad ways a lifetime spent under some *any & all* types of stress & persecution can affect someone, my babies: 

By having you chronically puke your guts out to the point of bl33ding; needing IV fluids + intense, end-of-life-type pain meds; & at least a week of recovery time--ad nauseam (literally)--'til I croak (again) 😒👎

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The condition's not fatal--provided I'm able to get to a properly-equipped hospital in time. 

But again, this disorder is the culmination of a lifetime of having my name, reputation, image, & likeness repeatedly--#COMPLETELY--annihilated in some way by various people in my inner & outer circles of family & so-called friends.

Hmmm.... sounds a whole lot like the background story of our good homie, the one-and-only J3$ü$ Chr!$t, right y'all? ✝️✨🧐

Ol' J.C., as most of us are aware, d!3d on the cross as redemption for the sins of humankind--an act commemorated annually during Holy Week as 'Good Friday.'

Like my many, *MANY* brothers, fathers (🩸🧬), uncles, male cousins, etc. before me, I, too, was brought up with a Chr!$t-like mentality. 

As a little Black-Jewish-Dominican-Filipino girl being raised primarily by her very Black R0m@n C@th0!ic of German & Italian descent Grandma Sally, I simply envisioned myself living out the modern-day Black female version of Chr!$t's life story & teachings 😇

Even--no, *ESPECIALLY*--in a multi-ethnic, multi-racial, multi-faith family such as mine, there has to be one, single authoritative figure that everyone can agree upon and/or with.

That being or entity for us as a family unit--along with legions of others across the globe--is The Alm!ghty 🙏🏾✨

Now, this being said... 

It appears that each individual person in my fam--especially the males--took themselves as being the 'J3$ü$' of their own personal life journeys. 

Which is cool--I understand that, it's fine.

But there's one male relative in particular who shall remain nameless (think: Angry Burrito Baby's father 😒) for whom he's not just the 'J3$ü$' of his own life story--but I'm his M@ry M@gd@l3n3, too 😱😳🥴

Miss M@ry is a fascinating biblical character in her own right--yet, very little is known about her compared to Chr!$t's other (male 🙄) apostles. 

M@ry M. is typically portrayed as J3$ü$' closest female companion--perhaps even his wife--and is known today in several Chri$ti@n traditions as being the 'Apostle of apostles'--though for literal *millenia,* y'all, Miss M@ry was disparaged by jealous haters as nothing more than a common wh0re 🥀

One of the few existing texts that mention M@ry M. directly is the Gospel of Phi!ip, particularly the cryptic passage below:

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"There were three who always walked with the L0rd: M@ry, his mother, & her sister, & M@gd@l3n3, the one who was called his companion. His sister & his mother & his companion were each a M@ry."

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So... do this mean that J.C. stayed with not one but *THREE* Bad B!tches named M@ry around him??? 

I know 'M@ry' was a poppin' name back in the day. As 'the' J.C.'s mom, I could see O.G. M@ry setting a baby name trend for that time period, to the point where *EVERYBODY* was naming their girl child 'M@ry' 🤷🏾‍♀️

But then again: The passage starts out referring to O.G. M@ry; her sister (a.k.a. J.C.'s aunt), who must also be named 'M@ry;' & then J.C.'s lady companion, *also* named M@ry, but 'M@ry of M@gd@l3n3' (😮‍💨)

However, the passage ends with wording that suggests the 'sister' in question is not O.G. M@ry's, but J.C.'s own female sibling--who, quite confoundingly, shares a first name with both his mom *and* his life companion⁉️ 😵‍💫  

Alternatively, it could be as simple--& understandably *next-level* problematic--as J.C.'s mother, sister, auntie, & life companion all being the same single person named 'M@ry' 🤯 (i.e., my baby Moe's life story)

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....Anyways. 

I won't hold you much longer, followers. This deep dive into ancient biblical history could have me here for DAYSSSSS rappin' with y'all 🤓 #NerdAlert 

All I'm sayin' is that out of a literal lifetime of strange a$$ things happening to & around me...

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...I've *DEFINITELY* heard stranger things than somebody's very-very, wayyyy-too-close in age to them + related to them several times over in various complicated a$$ ways female relative being forcefully paired up with a (or several) male relative(s) of hers, basically to ensure survival of their bl00dline 🩸🧬🤐 #dassit