Beware the sting of a killa b33... might be fatal to your ego 🐝
Name: T!m0thy D3sh@wn L3vy
Birthdate: Deceased 💀
Location: Formerly of Chicago, IL via West Bumblef*ck, MS
Why they feelin' The Sting today:
Ol' T!m L3vy is what we in the DMV Area call a 'country-fried bamma.'
Straight out of the wilderness that is West Bumblef*ck, Mississippi, Mr. L3vy *INSISTED* on inflicting its presence upon the denizens of the DMV, like we weren't already hip to its nonsense 😒👎👎
T!m L3vy:
What in the entire *eff* made you think your country a$$ belonged in *THIS* part of the country, h0e??? #RealQuestion
T!m was yet *ANOTHER ONE* ::DJ Khaled voice:: who thought it was G0d's gift to humanity, having the absolute nerve to post up on somebody's dating app(s) "looking for love" 👀
Imma tell you right now, spirit of T!m:
That's gon' be mighty *MIGHTY* hard (lol) for you to do, 1. Since you're d3@d & 2. Since you wanted to go around engaging in the following heinous @nüs social behaviors during your time in The Area:
Openly telling bishes about your unfortunate autoimmune disorder, which--thanks for sharing--but the symptoms are totally disgusting & dude wanted to go into graphic detail about it... especially the g3n!t@l s0res 🤮
Implying a woman wants to 'kidnap' it by inviting it to her (publicly parked in a nearby garage terrace during the daytime) vehicle to spark one up, then--upon entering the car--immediately asking when's the last time the car was "properly washed & detailed." (#TF???) Mind you, this was coming from a ñ!99@ who'd just revealed it drove all the way from West Bumblef*ck, MS back to the DMV Area to, quote-on-quote, "save money" on shipping the vehicle here--when it could've made its entire situation *that much easier* by just purchasing a car locally 😑 #DumbDumb
It had a whole bunch of random, disjointed tattoos up & down its pockmarked arms, presumably to hide the scars from that aforementioned autoimmune disorder. The effect, though, was like when your younger siblings get ahold of some water tattoos or a whole bunch of stickers: Them jonts going *EVERYWHERE* 😬
T!m had an a$$load of opinions on what constitutes the 'ideal partner' for it, which mostly entailed a bish submitting to T!m's archaic, a$$-backwards views on "womanhood" & the patriarchy #DeepNegroSpiritualSigh 🤦🏾♀️
But y'all: In the midst of spewing all that BS, this thing actually asked ya girl what it felt like to have m3ñstrü@l cramps, dawg!!! I was smoove gonna ignore its b!tch a$$, but then it *ANSWERED ITS OWN QUESTION* by saying it must feel like "When you have to take a 💩, but can't" 😵💫😳🤯
Based off its last name, T!m's obviously & undeniably Black a$$ openly claimed Jewish heritage with absolutely nothing to back it up. It *then* had the audacity to take offense when an *ACTUAL* Black Jew innocently asked more questions surrounding its ethnicity & how it got the last name 'L3vy.' By the end of that brain-pain-inducing struggle convo with T!m, it had somehow taken the questions regarding its typically-Jewish last name to mean that T!m *ITSELF* could plausibly 'pass' as a mixed-race individual 🤨 #BigSigh
Look, ñ!99@: If you are *THIS* level of delusional, insecure, & deeply self-hating d@rkie, you *ABSOLUTELY* need to handle that *AT HOME,* wherever that is for you. The caliber of Black person here in the DMV Area (on average) *LOVESSSSSS* being African-American... your self-hating aura totally obliterates the vibe, man 😤 #GetAnEffingClue
The list of social fouls goes on & on with this ñ!99@ T!m, y'all. But my #1 question for it--or, rather, the spirit of it--(out of so very many) is this:
Why *TF* did you decide to bring your nonsensical, bamma-fied behavior *THIS WAY,* dawg???
#PLEASE explain it, ñ!99@. The *entire metropolitan area* wants to know 🤔
Apparently, the DC region has something of a "real-life Wakanda" vibe to it.
Which--#iGetIt, I understand.
But look, h0es:
Wakanda is a *fictional* place, mayne.
And, #RealTalk, there's legions of Black folks across the nation who--if they don't already have connections to The Area--want to move here in droves.
*DROVES,* my babies!!!
Much like our neighbor to the north New York City, life in the Nation's Capital *also* isn't for the weak or faint of heart. Meaning, you either got what it takes to 'make it' here, or you don't.
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#ThatIsPureFacts, y'all 🤷🏾♀️
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So, with this post, I'm speaking to the spirit of T!m L3vy & ALLLLLLLLLLL the other country a$$ bamma-fied ñ!99@s & bishes out there finna pack their lil country a$$ knapsacks & haul themselves to Washington, DC/the DMV Area:
DON'T DO IT.
That's not a 'thr3@t' or a 'warning' either, y'all... I don't even go around making thr3@ts.
I *do* make a sh!t ton of promises, though 🤞 #Bee-lieveThat 🐝
*Keep* coming to my already extremely effed-up city & contributing to the chaotic nonsense that *ETERNALLY* flourishes here, moe 😤
Y'all bammas keep trying it, it's definitely gon' be some consequences & repercussions in this bish, ya heard 👂🏾 #That'sTruthNotThr3@ts 🗣
Anyways. Spirit of T!m L3vy:
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#WelcomeToTheNation'sCapital, b!tch 🥳🖕
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Now, get your mentally, physically, & spiritually-diseased a$$ TF *GONE* 🚓💨 👋