"Freakiest Day of the Year" Award

OK, followers. Y'all are already familiar with how Daddi !i$@ likes to give out metaphorical 'trophies' to MFs that be getting on her very *LAST* nerves. 

The logic here is that everybody wants to feel like a winner, right?? 

*ESPECIALLY* the losers 🥇

So, since they insist on forcing their random AF selves into my own personal version of the "RN H0e-lympics" (#IYKYK 😉), I like to have 'em compete for various awards & such.

I'm talkin' awards like "Mustiest Wannabe Pr0st!tute on Earth" award.

I'm talkin' "Quickest MF to Say Something Wildly Offensive at the Family Function & Get My Foot Broke Off in They 🍑" award.

...Y'all get the jist of it.

Anyways, days of the year can *also* get this #werk that Daddi !i$@ serves up, followers. 

Today's "Freakiest Day of the Year" award goes to the one... 

The only...

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 June 9th 🥳👏🏾

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Yes, yes, y'all. Figured I'd honor the day in question by remembering one of the very first peer-level freaks I encountered in my life (besides my good sis R0byn, that is 😇): 

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A down-on-her-knees a$$ bish named ~Ant0n!a ~ 😍

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If you've been following ya girl since her original blog days, you may recall Miss Ant0n!a having gone by the pseudonym of 'T0nya.' 

Let's take a trip down memory lane & revisit that epic blog post from oh-so-long ago...

C@th0!ic School Stories: Giving Out 'T0nyas' in the Boys Locker Room

I'd like to introduce a new segment to my blog called "C@th0l!c School Stories." 

I attended a C@th0l!c high school after only being in public schools up to that point. 

As a non-C@th0l!c,* it was an... intriguing experience to say the very least.

I'll start this series with a lovely young lady named T0nya's** story.

I met T0nya my freshman year in high school. We had a lot of classes together, but very little else in common. 

We had distinct groups of friends, disparate grades in class--and, as I soon found out, very different ways of spending our extracurricular time.

During gym class one day, I took a break from sitting in the bleachers reading my book--I always told our male gym teacher I was on my cycle so as to avoid physical activity/sweating out my hair... yes, I was that lazy lol. The uncomfortable look on his face whenever I told him this excuse was *just enough* to keep me on the bench most of that semester 😅--to go to the bathroom. 

Lo & behold, who do I see coming out of the *boys* locker room but T0nya herself.

"Girls room crowded?" I asked. 

It usually was, with only two very tiny stalls to use.

"Uh... no, not really," T0nya said, looking rather embarrassed.

"Alrighty then..." I said, continuing to the girls locker room.

But before I could even take a step forward, the door to the boys locker room swung wide open & almost hit me directly in the face; I was stopped in my tracks by none other than a male member (😏) of the junior varsity football team. 

...We all exchanged awkward AF looks 😬

"Yep. Well... see you in class then," I said, rushing to the girls bathroom.

A few months later, T0nya stopped showing up to class. Every time her name was called for attendance, there was silence. 

One of our teachers made an inquiry to the front office about T0nya's absenteeism, & that's how we found out ol' girl was expelled for--you guessed it: 

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Giving out 'T0nyas' in the boys locker room 💀 

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Apparently, I wasn't the only one who interrupted her little gym class rendez-vous--our dean of students did, too 🥴

Naturally, this led to a lot of questions among the freshman student body, namely: 

"Is 'giving T0nyas' really considered gettin' it on?" [Wiener in body = Yes]

And "Can you get pregnant from 'T0nyas'?" [No. And take an anatomy class, #PLEASE]

One girl even had the audacity to ask these questions of Miss District of Columbia, who came to speak to our entire school about motivational-type stuff one semester. 

Miss DC looked maaaad uncomfy up there on the podium, trying to explain to ~500 C@th0l!c school students how their bodies work 🤭

Finally, she just said: 

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"Wrap it up, kids."

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Good enough, Miss DC... good enough 👍

The same semester T0nya got expelled & before Miss DC was booked to speak to us, a girl far more popular than me & who I didn't think knew I existed leaned over in religion class & asked me, Virginal High School Lisa, if what T0nya was up to is honestly equal to knockin' tha boots. 

What a ridiculous question, I thought at the time. 

One, that this girl was asking *ME* like I'm some kind of s3xpert (I'm not, & *CERTAINLY* wasn't in high school). 

And two, that these kids are like, fourteen or fifteen years old, doing all types of freak nasty stuff on *AND* off school grounds, but have *no idea* how to protect themselves or even the consequences of what they're doing 😱 

At the same time, I couldn't blame this chick for having questions; it's not like she'd learn the answers in a ~C@th0l!c school~ of all places, right??

Homegirl looked so genuinely innocent & naive asking that question, I kinda pitied her. 

So I broke it down for her, even directing her to a teen girl-focused website I found particularly enlightening around that time. 

Ol' Girl seemed satisfied with my response, & that was that. 

...At least until junior year, when she turned up pregnant her damn self 🤦🏾‍♀️

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Ah, well. You live & you (hopefully) learn.

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* I consider myself a student of all religions... a fancy way of saying I don't practice one religion exclusively.

** Name changed to protect the guilty freaky 😜