Beware the sting of a killa b33... might be fatal to your ego 🐝
Name: I@n R0b3rt M@xw3ll
Birthdate: 6/10/1923
Location: Deceased (allegedly) 💀
Why they feelin' The Sting today:
My grandma Aunt C0ññ!e's longtime s3x partner R0b3rt M@xw3ll (née Ján Ludvík Hym@n Biny@min H0ch) is another one with a mysterious, violent upbringing of uncertain origin.
He and my grandpa were thick as thieves, as unlikely as *THAT* pairing may seem (...and *is* 👀).
Grandpa told me once that Mr. M@xw3ll was literally the last of his kind after more than 300 members of his original family were g@$$ed in the H0l0c@ust when Mr. M@xw3ll was just three years old 🥀
With no one else to turn to for guidance in this cruel world, young Ján Ludvík was taken under my notorious Grandpa J0s3f's wing & basically raised as one of grandpa's own kids--though as far as I'm aware, there's no biological relation between the two.
Doesn't really make a difference, though, seeing as how descendants of both men co-mingle & interwine amongst themselves to form a disjointed-yet-entirely-cohesive family of Supremely Effed Up Individuals.
Ján, now going by an angelicized middle name of "R0b3rt," never stood a chance of having any so-called 'normal' life, being the very last living member of his family line.
His presumably long-suffering wife, Miss B3tty, even said in an interview once that they had so many kids together because R0b3rt was essentially trying to rebuild the family he originally lost in the H0l0c@ust 💔
Tragic, no doubt. But I, personally, knew Mr. M@xw3ll as a deeply troubled but fun-loving bon vivant with a "thing" for BBWs named 'Aunt C0ññ!e' 🤷🏾♀️
It makes sense on paper: Why wouldn't somebody named 'R0b' & a con-woman h0e named 'C0N-nie' join forces to f*ck sh!t up--literally *AND* figuratively???
Yes, Aunt C0ññ!e was closer in age to Mr. M@xw3ll's beloved youngest daughter G!g! than to Mr. M@xw3ll himself...
But I think the age difference aroused them or sum'n 🤢
Mr. M@xw3ll used to throw lavish, Great Gatsby-esque parties at his sprawling English manor--there'd seriously be a new, shocking surprise around every corner, & the parties would typically last for days on end.
All that came to an abrupt stop when Mr. M@xw3ll met a peculiar & untimely end, apparently having drowned while sailing on his prized yacht, the Lady Gh!sl@iñe.
Don't be ignorant and pronounce it "J!zz-L@ñe" either, y'all.
It's "ghee-LEHN," put some respect on her name ✊🏾
After all, she's a victim of the madness, too...
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And I'm not talking about the yacht ⚓️
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