Beware the sting of a killa b33... might be fatal to your ego 🐝
Name: Chr!st0ph3r G. L. W@ll@ce
Birthdate: Deceased (allegedly) 💀
Location: Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn, NY 🍎
Why they feelin' The Sting today:
Now that I've enlightened y'all to my epic origin story, let me hip y’all to a question I eternally have:
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What is the appropriate response to some bull-💩???
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Some people--typically ’p@ths & enabling a$$ ‘p@th sympathizers--are thrown *all the way off* by ya girl's non-reactive response 🤷🏾♀️ #GoFigure
Sometimes they expect tears (#ForgetAboutIt), return anger (b!tch, you not getting my blood pressure up, #FOH), or--alternatively--they think I’m one of them:
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An unfeeling mega a$$h0le with no heart (#NeverThat!).
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I continue to maintain that’s *THAT* mf’s problem for thinking those things, never mine 🙅🏾♀️
Look: If y’all b!tches & b!tch n!gs wanna rumble with Tha 🐝, you gon’ get stung--that’s common sense.
...And I'm *not* talkin' bout the rapper 🤨
If I’m unable to personally eff you up in the moment, that’s when my hive members step in wit a lil of that “whoopty-woo,” ya dig.
And if ~whoever~ “doesn’t like” the whoopty-woo, we serve ‘em up a lil of that “wopty-wop.”
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...It's real simple, y'all.
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#RealTalk, that wopty-wop is typically more to everybody’s liking, if I’m being perfectly honest (& I always am 😇).
Don’t be like the mfs I've spent nearly three whole years (!!!) flambé-ing the 💩 out of… you gon’ eff around & find out--just like they did--exactly why I’m not the ☝️ or the ✌️, followers.
Anyways, back to my story. Any perverted mf who hears how I grew up in & out of jail, being a young a$$ biological mom to my genetic twin brother’s kid, with very little adult supervision (etc., etc.) automatically sees me as an easy mark, y’all 🎯
Obviously, I’m not that. But these ‘p@ths & their sympathizers/enablers, mayne… they dumb AF & they stay wanting to try 💩
That leaves me no choice but to remain ready to whoop a$$ (non-violently 😉) at all times.
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#ItIsWhatItIs 🤷🏾♀️
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I wish my “stay ready so I don’t have to get ready” mentality had been fully developed by the time a well-known rapper/p!mp from NYC tried to buy me off my Grandma Sally for $100,000 😱
Sally been hip, ok. She heard this guy’s intentions for me & immediately was like
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“The audacity of this n!g!!!”
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But she decided to hear him out anyways, in my presence.
I didn’t know who all my biological dads were yet, at the time. So this guy proposed I start calling him "Big P0pp@."
P0pp@ had other kids around my age, so his thinking was I would blend in effortlessly with his existing family.
Sally say:
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“!i$@ already has a family… *TOO MUCH* family, in fact,”
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but P0pp@ ain’t care…
His counter-argument was that none of these so-called family members seemed to give a flying f*ck about Young L, leaving her to fend for herself in all sorts of precarious life situations.
Sally said, “You wrong, motherf*cker..."
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"*EYE* give a f*ck about !i$@!!!”
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I was so in awe that my Grandma had the 🥜 to stand up & proudly claim me in front of this legendary p!mp & hustler in The Game, y’all 😍
That situation was one of the very, very few times P0pp@ *didn’t* get his way about something. Looking back, I’m grateful things didn’t turn out differently than they did.
Of course, this situation didn’t stop P0pp@ from immortalizing the moment in song... #sigh 🤦🏾♀️
It’s a dope song, true. But y’all gotta understand: I was young AF & thought me & P0pp@ were Real Friends, dawg.
You don’t write songs about your friends like… that 😕
The type of lifestyle he led got P0ps caught all the way up & he eventually d!3d (?) in a hail of gunfire.
But anyone who really knew him like that wasn’t surprised: One of many outcomes of playing The Game & leading The Life is losing your own.
I was so messed up emotionally by P0pp@ offering my Grandma Sally all that money to buy me--like a modern-day s!@ve or a product off-the-shelf--that I thought all little kids grew up with their own personal @bü$3rs to “rescue” them from some nebulous fate.
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I got it together eventually, but that f*cked up meeting we had oh-so-long ago really sticks with me.
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