Beware the sting of a killa b33... might be fatal to your ego 🐝
Name: Cl@üd!ñe K@ñkü P@ge
Birthdate: Deceased 💀
Location: H3ll, via the D(M)V Area 🔥
Why they feelin' The Sting today:
Today we flaming up Cl@üd!ñe K@ñkü P@ge, a beautiful but insane mulatto h0e originally from the DMV Area.
Not so long ago, Cl@üd!ñe posted an upskirt shot of ya girl to her public-facing social media account when she felt “outshined” on her wack a$$ b-day 😒
IDK what kinda f*cked up sh!t happened in Ms. P@ge’s childhood, but it resulted in her completely denying her Black side.
…To the point of not inviting her Black a$$ mama to her wedding to some filthy-looking YT dude 🥶
Cl@üdi’s another one who looked d3m0n!c in her wedding pics; zoom in & both her & hubby’s eyes look like glassy black slits 🎭
Cl@üdi also either looks “over it,” drunk, high, or all three standing next to her mom’s bro, who appears to have taken the mom’s place in Cl@üd!ñe’s nuptials 😳 #interesting
There’s no pics of Cl@üdi’s mom anywhere on her socials--in fact, the b!tch rarely mentioned her mother at all 🤔 #strange
Cl@üd!ñe had a weird relationship with her rich YT dad where she’s cool with him basically calling her a pig as a term of endearment; her presumably YT family also took turns abü$ing Cl@üdi’s C@bb@ge P@tch D0lls at the dinner table as a kid 😨 #yikes
Cl@üd!ñe’s mama was her only *real* connection to the motherland, yet they obviously weren't close. Cl@üdi appears to have been raised mostly by her dysfunctional YT side of the fam 😬 #SuperTragic
That didn’t stop Cl@üd!ñe from trying to exploit & socially profit off of her Blackness, though 🙄 #PleaseBelieveThat
This h0e Cl@üd!ñe exclusively dated dark-skinned Black dudes for a while--I guess to validate her Black side??? IDK WTF these h0es be thinking, y’all--though Cl@üd!ñe herself identified as a 💄 l3zzie 🌈 #oop
Additionally, Cl@üd!ñe exclusively dated men with unisex names--like "C0r3y," "C0ürtñ3y," "Chr!s," etc.--I’m guessing to “subtly” (😒) communicate she goes both ways???
...These h0es got all the sense of a bag of t3$tic!es, followers 🤦🏾♀️
Also, peep this: Cl@üd!ñe built her entire female friends circle around her being the “prettiest” among them, even though she had the worst attitude & lowest self-esteem.
Insecure much???
One day, this h0e Cl@üd!ñe made the unfortunate mistake of appointing herself “Queen of DC” at some random social gathering 🤨❌
Ya girl wondered aloud what made Cl@üd!ñe think that...
Apparently, she’d been gassed TF up off the attention of an aggressive dÿk3 at the function named J3ss!c@ Rück3r.
J3ss!c@ refuses to take “No” for a legit answer; it’s like once she hears that from a straight (or straight-presenting, in Cl@üd!ñe’s case) female it makes her THAT much more determined to “convert” a b!tch.
...Y’all know the type 😤
Even for a n@rc!ss!st!c 💄 l3zzie like Cl@üd!ñe, J3ss!c@’s attention was too damn much. Cl@udine’s h0e a$$ enlisted me (of all people 🙄) to “let J3ss!c@ down easy” for her.
Uh, you can’t handle your own business, h0e?!
Again: This is only a guess but I think Cl@üd!ñe was tryna turn J3ss!c@’s obsession with *HER* into an obsession with *ME* 👿
Unbeknownst to Cl@üdi, J3ss!c@ & I went waaaay back, having briefly attended daycare together. This social gathering was the first time I’d seen J3ss!c@ in a smoove decade or more, though ⏳
I didn’t like J3ss!c@ back then; the sentiment still stands today 🤷🏾♀️ #ItIsWhatItIs
The feeling was mutual from my understanding. Though J3ss!c@ went to G-town just like Cl@üd!ñe, she literally scrunched her fugly a$$ face up when I told her I was a Br0wn grad interning at Y@le that summer 😏 #haterade
Matter fact, I’m serving up a 2-for-1 flaming today, y’all. This h0e J3ss!c@ Rück3r bout to get it right quick, too 🔥
How you go from being an adjunct professor at G-town--where you somehow earned a Sociology degree 👀--to working as a (former?) high school teacher at some no-name charter school in DC, J3ss!c@ Rück3r???
The math ain’t mathin’, h0e 👎🏾👎🏾
J3ss!c@’s yet another creepy, offensive so-called educator that I wonder “WTF is this person teaching the kids,” how to be an aggressive s3xü@! pr3d@t0r???
Like… I’m #GenuinelyPerplexed 🧐
Anyways, back to Cl@üd!ñe’s h0e a$$ thinking she had what it takes to be “Queen of DC” 🤢👑🚫 #B!tchPlease
A queen of the city takes pride in who she is & where she comes from; Cl@üd!ñe was the very definition of inauthentic.
I mean, Cl@üdi's natural hair texture was kinky, right… yet all the hair sold on her website & that she wore herself was bone straight or wavy #hmmm
That’s just one of MANY examples of Cl@üd!ñe frontin’ on everybody--self-hatred is a mf, y’all.
But Cl@üdi was still tryna "make it" as a cosmetologist or sum’n, somewhere, despite (allegedly) getting a degree from G-town #GoHoyas
You hustling backwards, baby:
Having a fancy degree is not needed in *any way whatsoever* to do hair, makeup, or whatever TF else your s0ci0p@thic a$$ was tryna do with your life, Cl@üd!ñe 💇🏾♀️💅🏾
Which leads me to my next question:
What’s really good, Ms. K@ñkü P@ge??? Inquiring minds want--*NEED*--to know. You was outchea wilin’ TF out, sis. It’s not a good look at all 🥀
Anyways. Nothing more to see here, folks. Just another tragic--now "💀"--mulatto b!tch & her aggressive dÿk3 ego supply, f*çking sh!t up 🖕
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#StayOuttaMyCityH0es 👸🏾🐝